The Digital Dembroski

So the original plan for today was for me to extoll my findings about Jinni and it’s Movie Genome Project.  I had everything ready…. but it’s Macworld Tuesday.  Macworld Tuesday means that it’s Keynote Tuesday.  As a matter of fact, as it has been highly publicized, today is the LAST Macworld Keynote Tuesday.   Ever.  Or at least for a while.

So everyone in the Cult of Mac is all riled up about the various products and services that Apple will undoubtedly announce today during the Keynote.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m riled up as well.  I’ll have all the major tech blogs open to their respective coverage pages.  I’ll have Twitter pounding away.  I’ll be tapped in, make no mistake.  When this shit drops – I’ll know about it.

But that’s not really news – this happens a few times a year whenever Apple has a keynote.

What IS news is the idiocy surrounding who will be giving said keynote.  Normally Apple’s very well spoken CEO, Steve Jobs, gives the keynote.  On this side of the craziness we call it a Jobsnote (Cute right?).  This year the final Macworld keynote won’t be a Jobsnote – it will be a Philnote.  Phil Schiller will be giving the keynote in Steve’s stead.  And I say this with absolute seriousness – people went apeshit when they found out.  In the bad way.  Everone and their mother started speculating about it.  The most logical answer:  Steve Jobs is dying (or dead).

The people saying this were basing this assumption on two facts:
1.  Steve Jobs is a pancreatic cancer survivor.
2.  Cancer can be a bit of a bitch.

With that answer in place, pandemonium struck.  My twitter feed lit up with the many “Twitterati” (Twitter’s Elite Users) who were selling their AAPL stock, Kevin Rose for one.  Steve Jobs might be dying?  The stock is already really low?  Shit, let’s sell it ALL.

First off, so what if Steve Jobs IS dying (if you’re following where this is going…he’s not).  Steve Jobs is a cool guy.  Steve Jobs is an excellent CEO.  Steve Jobs is responsible for a lot of the great stuff that’s happened at Apple over the last few years.  Steve Jobs is not a magical being that poops golden Ipods and Macbook Airs.  If Steve Jobs does die it won’t be the end of Apple.  It will be sad, but god forbid, if it did happen Apple would keep on trucking.

And secondly, why are you selling your stock all willy nilly right now.  It’s buy low and sell high.  Not the other way around.  The economy is massively fucked right now – if you have investments you should be in it for the long haul.  Apple is not going to die in these rough times.  Just hold on to your stock and wait…. a long time… those numbers will come back up.  I say these things as someone who does not have massive piles of money lying around and someone who does not have tons of stock lying around – I need to be more conservative than these guys.  Does this give my arguement a lack of credibility?  Maybe.  But that’s not the point.

The point is “Who cares!”

I understand the hysteria somewhat – to most of these people Steve Jobs IS magical.  He’s a celebrity.  He is arguably a genius.  So since he’s a celebrity we as a society think it’s ok to get all up in his business.  Just like we get up in the Travoltas’ current tragic business or Brittney Spear’s Walmarty business.  The problem for me is that it’s reached fever pitch – no longer is just the “Cult of Mac” talking about Steve Job’s health.  Mainstream media is even talking about Steve Jobs health.  What’s more, after Steve Jobs released a letter to the apple community that basically said, “Bitches I’m fine!  It’s a private matter!” mainstream media has even begun to question the truth in the letter.

Steve:  I’m fine – please leave me alone.
CNN:  You are a lying sack of shit.  Here are some doctors who know absolutely nothing about your medical history to prove it.

This is getting stupid.  Steve has to report to Apple’s Board of Directors – neither he nor them will allow him to serve as CEO if he is unfit to do so.  Phil Schiller is giving the Macworld Keynote? Sweet – lets see what he’s got.  Steve Jobs wanted to spend the holidays with his family?  Good for him – he sure works hard enough.